Thursday, December 18, 2008

DAYS 4 & 5

Day 4 - Nothing eventful happened today, as I was writing a paper. On something top secret.

Day 5 - Today was a full day of work, and when I got home I had no energy to go out again to exercise, so I googled "Britney Spears' workout" and got this fantastic abs routine that I did while watching HGTV. Although Britney does 50 reps of each exercise, I was pretty good after only 25. However, this is one of the best ab routines I have ever done, so I am posting it here:

50 crunches (not sit-ups), not allowing the shoulders to touch the ground the entire time.

50 side crunches (25 on each side), not allowing the shoulders to touch the ground.

50 opposite-toe-touches: lying on the back, stick both legs straight up into the air. Lifting the head, neck, and shoulders off the ground, touch the left fingertips to the right foot, and then the right fingertips to the left foot. Repeat, while keeping head, neck and shoulders off the ground.

50 reverse crunches: Lying on the back, stick the legs up in the air at a 90 degree angle from the floor, and lower to the ground, not allowing the feet to touch the floor. Lift back to original position, repeat.

No wonder she's the princess of pop with this kind of routine.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

DAY 2 - Remarkably uneventful

Today's rhythm was a little thrown off by the fact that the lovely agent code name "Mom" was in town visiting. Since my tummy is now filled with delicious pasta, it didn't feel like exercising. However, after watching a Britney Spears music video, I got motivated again and did 30 sit ups and 30 pushups. Back to the grind tomorrow though!!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

DAY 1

In an effort to improve my cardio, flexibility and agility, I attended both "BodyJam" and "BodyFlow." Even though this is just day 1, I am quite exhausted, although very proud of the fact that I was able to do 2 hours of classes.

Ow.

Okay. Going to sleep in order to recuperate my muscles.

Superhero of the week: SYDNEY FOX (Tia Carrere) FROM "RELIC HUNTER."

I figured I'd start off nice and lightly for my first week. Sydney Fox, archaeological expert and secret martial arts practitioner, is the lead character on CTV's "Relic Hunter." Each episode, she is entreated by a university, estate, or some government agency like the FBI or CIA, to find a relic that usually possesses some magical powers. For example, the Fountain of Youth, a "Cursed Aztec Devil Doll," or the diamond-encrusted gun used by Al Capone. Sydney often tends to get stuck wearing skimpy clothing, and often appears in little less than a bra and tight shorts.

As you can see, Sydney Fox is a pretty fluffy, stereotypical heroine. She's smart, sexy, and has no obvious weak spots or faults. In short, she is a little too perfect. However, she does always manage to get the relic into safe hands, and look pretty fine whilst doing so, so all in all this makes her a great stepping stone on the road to superspydom.

Some traits of Sydney's that I will be pushing for this week:

-GREAT CARDIO: Sydney often is chased by multiple henchmen, so good cardio is necessary to get Syd's skills.

-REALLY TONED MUSCLES IN THE UPPER BODY - Just look at that picture. That picture screams "I can scale a forty-foot Incan wall in order to attain the stolen idol."

-GREAT HISTORICAL KNOWLEDGE - I think this will be the week that I brush up on ancient civilizations.

Tonight, however, I'll be trying to emulate Sydney's suave side by attending a "BodyJam" class at the local Goodlife, led by Cathy Ferri. It wouldn't surprise me if at some point in her career, Sydney was forced to attend some sort of fancy ball, and she would definitely need to know how to dance with some evil diplomat to glean some information from him. Even if Sydney didn't need to do that, Tia Carrere's character in True Lies definitely did, so I figure I'll get some crossover knowledge.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Mandate

A SUPERSPY IN 90 DAYS

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be a superspy. While some girls may have dreamed about being a princess or mermaid, I wanted to be James Bond. In order to try and become more like the smooth-talking, knowledgeable, and generally awesome James, I directed my brothers and the neighbourhood kids in weekly re-enactments of Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, and View to a Kill.

When you're older, you generally don't talk about fulfilling fantasies like that. When you're a kid, it's all well and good to say that you're going to grow up to be Spiderman, but is that really a socially acceptable answer beyond the age of eight? I would wager a bet that a huge majority of adults secretly nurse dreams of possessing telekinesis, or suddenly being recognized as the long lost monarch of England, or that destiny will fly down and give them a clear and defined purpose for existence. If we didn't think all these things, then what is the point of fiction? Seriously.

Why not admit it. I have always nurtured this dream of being super fast, super strong, perhaps possessing some supernatural powers, etc. So why the blog?

Basically, this is the direct result of a goal setting session I had with someone at my workplace. We were hashing out what exactly I wanted to do with my life, and somehow the topic got onto action heros. I expressed desire in becoming one. She replied with a "why not?" And here we are.

RULES:
I have 90 days to train myself in the art of becoming a superspy. This means:


-Able to run for 20 minutes without stopping, for chasing bad guys.

-Able to scale rock climbing walls quickly and efficiently, in case I need to sneak into the third floor of a building and insert a bug into an sinister executive's office.

-Trained in the arts of self-defense. That means karate, aikido, jiu jitsu, kickboxing...and tai ch'i.

-Toned and sleek muscles, just to be on the safe side

-Basic explosive and dangerous substance chemistry, in case of poisoning or for creating explosive devices to destroy evil manufacturing plants

-Extreme flexibility, to enhance my ability to kick multiple bad guys at once. It will also help me squeeze through tight air ducts when doing some reconaissance missions. This means full splits on both sides.

-Able to swim laps for 30 minutes without stopping, in case I need to cross the English channel with vital information. While being chased by speedboats. In a thunderstorm.

-Begin eating a healthier diet, to nourish my superhuman body and mind.

Finally...

-Able to Ballroom Dance, so that when attending fancy parties in foreign countries, I can schmooze on the dancefloor and gather some secret info while looking smooth.

How will I do this?

I am aiming to go to the gym or do something to get me closer to my goal every day for the next 90 days. I will also be featuring a superhero of the week, who will possess a different set of traits and skills that I will focus on. I will also be documenting my progress on this website in order to immortalize the journey, and prove that I can do anything if I set my mind to it.

With that in mind, let the 90 days begin!!!